Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

What are some common health concerns for senior citizens?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

What do you like about McDonald's?

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I understand how hurricane paths work

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Evan Engram embraces the “Joker” role in the Broncos’ offense - NBC Sports

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

Billionaire YouTuber MrBeast ‘borrowing’ money from mom for his wedding - New York Post

I can read

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Why do British people always write "xxx" after their names?

I don’t buy bullshit

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

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I see through liars

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

China's electric cars are cheaper, but is there a deeper cost? - BBC

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

‘The Boys’ Star Erin Moriarty Reveals Graves’ Disease Diagnosis - HuffPost

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

With red carpet and a second line, New Orleans welcomes 6,000 Pokémon competitors - NOLA.com

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

What legal actions can be taken if a neighbor's unleashed dog causes harm or injury?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Why can't they repair the damage caused by Elon Musk renaming Twitter to X?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Bill Atkinson, architect of the Mac’s graphical soul, dies at 74 - Ars Technica

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

Scottie Scheffler opens third round with triple bogey to tumble down Travelers leaderboard - NBC Sports

I can count

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t cotton to rapists

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I actually pay taxes

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I have complete contempt for traitorism